champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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