I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just high enough for therapy.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The power of my boobs compel you
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
