what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
