I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
