Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
