no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it's great music for shaving your balls
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
