No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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