is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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