wrigley field is MILF paradise
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Michael Bay diarrhea
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
