I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
