I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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