He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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