i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
