I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
