Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
