Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
