I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
