I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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