I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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