If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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