I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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