a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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