Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
