Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize