I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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