Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
