at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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