I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
