i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
