dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
