Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
