dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
