it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
