In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
