Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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