i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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