Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
