I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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