so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i came on her dog
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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