She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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