some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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