I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
