When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
