Only a mothe r could love this liver
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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