Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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