i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
