at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
