did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
