I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
