my sisters under your porch take her home
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
