halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize