Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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