so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize