i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
