why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
