Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
