I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
