at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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