i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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