I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
